Some thoughts/poetry I wrote over the Summer

A shield to protect me
-takes me far away
A shield to protect me
-from the fears of the day
A shield to protect me
-so nobody knows
A shield to protect me
-behind the camouflage of clothes

A coat to keep out
-their whispers and thoughts
A coat to keep out
-the questions of all sorts
A coat to keep out
-the searching eyes
A coat to keep out
-the lies that lie inside



You filled me, took away my pain,
You left me, now I'm alone again.

You knew me, helped me find myself,
You gave me courage to fight everyone else.

You loved me, I loved you,
Now we're destroyed- what to do?


Ellie has to be OK
Ellie has to be strong
Ellie has to be composed
Ellie has to comply with all

Ellie has to be solely blamed
Ellie has to have done all wrong
Ellie has to keep quiet

Ellie wants to have a voice
Ellie wants to be trusted
Ellie wants to have no secrets
Ellie wants to show emotion

Ellie wants to be Ellie, is that possible?


Whats wrong with me?
-the heartache, the pain
Whats wrong with me?
-the grief, the sustain
Whats wrong with me?
-the worries inside
Whats wrong with me?
-I have so much to hide


I hide
I scream
I fear
I tremble

I coward
I fall
I cry
I stumble


Inside me...

Inside me is a fire so bright
with flames that threaten to burn in delight

Inside me is a whistle so clear
loud and constant to chase away the fear

Inside me is a hurricane to destroy
rid me of the pain, hurt and replace with joy

Inside me is a raging sea
splashing against my insides to set me free



The crisp white band labelling my body
Number (V075513)
Simple.

The receipt determining my fate
Number (6 Nov 2010)
Simple.

The tag to keep me alive
Brand (SKINTACT)
Simple.

The thoughts, feelings, memories and dreams
Close to my mind,
Closer to my heart...
Complex, Severe.