The Naked Chef

Les Miserables

I'm so obsessed with Les Miserables, I absolutely love the film, the music the passion- its incredible.
I found this quote from the play, I think its beautiful...


...even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise...

Positive Feedback

I got a lovely email from my personal tutor today after I emailed him in regards to my disability needs, it reads as follows...

As far as my current experiences go, you are one of the more motivated, conscientious and capable students. Your work is always amongst the best in the group and as you have shown throughout 118, you are good at posing and answering questions and as shown today in the 30 second presentation, you are perfectly capable of giving a good presentation – I am confident you will do well J

If you have any issues in the build up to the presentation or ever, please come see me. I tend to present a somewhat jovial demeanour to try and make sessions less formal, but should you ever wish to discuss anything of an academic nature or otherwise, please do not hesitate to get in touch. My door is always open.

 

Was really encouraging to recieve this and feel really positive about my next assignment that will be marked by him. Happy days!

Dainty Doll

I've been looking to try a new foundation for ages, bareminerals is great but its never been 100% my colour, everything I have tried is orange on my skin so it was great when I came across Dainty Doll in Boots.
It's a perfect colour, applies really easily and had 1/3 off! Fantastic.
I've bought the liquid foundation and the concealer in the lightest shades and they look really natural as if I have nothing on- plus the concealer does what it is supposed to and banishes redness :-)
Perfect products and equally pretty packaging. Recommended.

A touch of GRACE

GO TO http://www.cherylrichardson.com/
CLICK ON RIGHT HAND SIDE ICON CALLED 'Click here for Touch of Grace. Go!'
FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS ON THE POP UP SCREEN



...and WOW!

Tonglen

So I signed up to a newsletter called Curvy Yoga because I love doing yoga and this seemed like a friendly site to work with. Upon opening today's instalment I came across a lovely technique. Extract from the newsletter below:

Here's what it comes down to for me (and what has become a bit of a daily mantra in my world):

• When I put my jeans on and instantly hate the way I look, I breathe in the suffering of everyone feeling the same. Then I breathe out compassion for all of us (and a reminder that jeans always get looser throughout the day).

• When I convince myself I must step on the scale and then find myself at the brink of a body image meltdown, I breathe in the pain of everyone else who is letting the scale dictate how they feel. Then I breathe out love for each of us (and a reminder that we're no less awesome than yesterday).

• When I go to a yoga class and find myself noticing, and judging myself, for being the biggest person in the room, I breathe in the hurt of everyone who feels alone. Then I breathe out empathy and solidarity for us (and a reminder that the first tenet of yoga is ahimsa, or compassion towards others, including ourselves).

• When I get the idea that being on a diet will solve all my problems, I breathe in the agony of everyone feeling less than. Then I breathe out wholeness for every one of us (and a reminder that no diet can ever determine our worth).

You can use this technique, called Tonglen, in any situation where you're feeling down on yourself, lonely, sad, etc. In community, we can find healing, and I'm thankful to be in one with you.

Not only are you not suppressing your feelings but you can recognise that you're not alone, making you feel better about yourself. I'm determined to give it a go....
Ellie :-) xx

scissors....

So, self harm.... its something I've been doing on and off for a while now. I'm not proud of what happens when I start but sometimes I just gravitate towards scissors and the next thing I know there are slices on my legs. In a sick way I find it quite beautiful watching the droplets run across my skin, almost as if pain is running out of me and transforming to a beautiful free red droplet.
I wonder if anyone else also finds this true?
Once I realise what I'm doing I tend to stop and then have to clear up the mess. The only thing I find with self harm is the irritation of the cuts afterwards, unless I have large plasters (which I don't have to cover the size of some of my 'sessions') any fabric causes the skin to burn. Walking around becomes quite a pain.

At the moment I'm trying desperately to distract myself from myself. I'm feeling incredibly low, drained and tired and often find myself drifting in and out of sleep. I feel the need to rest constantly. Waking up, dressing and washing is often a struggle when you feel as if there is not much hope.
I turn to films and music in order to get me on the right track and I'm dabbling in the bible more and more to retain some sort of sanity and faith. It's difficult when sometimes you don't know how to distinguish what you think is happening/what you're feeling and what is actually happening. I tend to drift nowadays in a state of numbness; the emotional pain sits on my shoulders as I numbly get what needs to be done, done.

Current Playlist

These are the songs I'm currently loving right now....

 

 

 

And I'm also insanely obsessed with the Les Miserables soundtrack, I've seen it twice at the cinema and loved every second!

Ell x

Call me Maybe??

This one is for you...

Gets me everytime...

EDAW

So, its that time of year again, Eating Disorders Awareness Week (EDAW) and this year beat's campaign is about wearing crazy socks..... I don't know if I really have any 'crazy' socks but I will honour the tradition of wearing something purple each day of the week to mark the occasion. Beat have also launched alongisde the 'sock it' campaign a new approach to awareness based around the concept that 'Everybody knows somebody' for which they have comissioned a video regarding how widespread eating disorders are.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WM6q_13YyDg&feature=player_embedded I'm not sure we'll see it posted around everywhere but its a start to raising some sort of awareness I guess. Personally I think videos created by sufferers are much better such as this one...

I'd love to do something to inspire others as some of my friends are but I'm not one in the right place to do so at the moment. It's difficult. Besides, how do you even approach the subject when nobody that you would want to talk to about it knows the struggle you are going through?
It's a tricky one....

How to be Alone

I found this video online, its all about being alone and doing things alone... sounds depressing but is actually a very uplifting video, check it out...

HELP NEEDED!

I just signed the petition "Increase Understanding & Monetary Resources for those with Eating Disorders" on Change.org.

It's important. Will you sign it too? Here's the link:

http://www.change.org/en-GB/petitions/increase-understanding-monetary-resources-for-those-with-eating-disorders

Thanks!

Ellie