LONELY

It is not unusual for me to feel alone even when with others, however, I don't think I have ever felt loneliness this powerful before. It wasn't until I experienced near constant friendship and company like I am now that when I am on my own or having a down day I experience loneliness on a whole new level.

I crave for human contact and company. Not only does it get boring being here on my own when everyone else is out but my mind wanders off and leaves me behind in an empty shell- unable to move other than to breathe I just sit until something jerks me back to life and I notice a few hours have gone by, none the wiser as to where they went, let alone how. Time escapes me, or perhaps I escape time.

Similarly, I have always slept in this bedroom okay but once or twice now someone has stayed the overnight and I feel so lonely each night that he doesn't stay (not for some stalkerish weird reason but because it didn't occur to me that I am living on my own here until he was gone). It's so odd, it never occured to me that I would feel lonely when in bed at night.

Its not until you've got something and then loose it (if only temporarily) that you notice how much you need it and can't survive without.